229385

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a discount circumcision? A rip off."

"When my first wife lost her credit card, I didn't report it. Because whoever found it was spending less than she was."

"If Oscar De La Toya Jackson isn't the best drag queen name ever, I don't know what I'm doing in these heels and boxing gloves anymore."

"How do you catch a rabbit? Hide in a field and make carrot noises"

"If I consider you a friend, I'll be there for you. With an ear, a shoulder, a drill, a shovel, an alibi - whatever you need to feel better."

"This girl just said, ""You know that feeling you get when you really really like someone?"" and I was all like, ""Nope."" and walked away."

"What do you call it when a prostitute makes paper birds? Whore-igami"

"My friends and I used to love a good game of Russian Roulette. Unfortunately, they're a bunch of sore losers and won't play it with me anymore."

"[First date] Her: i'm a criminal lawyer, what do you do? Me: really, well it just so happens that I... (trying to impress her) ...am a criminal"

"Drunk girls would be amazing lawyers if they cared about laws & freedoms as much as they cared about trying to convince people they're sober"