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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into his son's room... He warns his kid, ""Son, you need to stop masturbating, or you'll go blind!"" The boy responds, ""I'm over here, dad."""

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"Ted Cruz just looks like a... Saturday Night Live Skit"
"Imagine how much self-control the people who make bubble wrap must have."
"What do you call four Mexicans in quicksand? Quatro Cinco"
"What does the dentist of the year get?...A little plaque."
"What is the worst icebreaker? The Titanic"
"Why do white girls help fight heartburn? Because they're so basic."
"my car is dead & i saw a dead spider under the hood so like, do i need a new spider? i dont know a lot about how cars work"
"What's the best class in school if you want to be a doctor? Weight training, it gives you the most patients."
"How Many Russians Does It Take To Invade Crimea? None according to the Russians."