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Joke of the Day

"Everybody laughed when I told them I was going to become a comedian They're not laughing now!"

"Just had a food baby, but I'm not ready for that type of responsibility so I flushed it"

"What do you call it when the lead singer of U2 fights with himself? Bono-y-Bono"

"Call me when you have $50,000 and you'll get your little girl back. Call in the next five minutes and I'll throw in a second kid as a gift."

"I couldn't use my phone at the funeral It was a dead zone"

"Hey baby, have you got a time machine? Cuz' I could go back in time to approach you with a better pickup line than this one"

"""We don't serve time travelers here"" A time traveler walks into a bar."

"Name a country that doesn't have a letter ""A"". JEPEN LOL"

"I heard my idiot friend talk about inequality the other day and I couldn't help but draw some parallels. :)"

"You don't know me. I'm PID 1, init."