186022
Joke of the Day
"You don't know me. I'm PID 1, init."
Next Joke
"Paleontologists have just discovered a new species of dinosaur that was predominately lesbian... They're calling it the Lickalotopuss."
"Drunk. In Wal Mart. Fuck."
"If anyone thinks I'm a homophobe they can suck my dick. Unless they're a man, because that's unnatural."
"SORRY I REPLACED EVERYTHING IN YOUR FIRST AID KIT WITH BAGS OF BEEF JERKY YOU MIGHT BE MAD NOW BUT YOU'LL THANK ME LATER"
"Why didn't Cinderella makes the Soccer Team? She kept running away from the ball"
"The ""Lumos/Nox"" trick on Android phones is pretty neat. However... I'd advise the Galaxy Note 7 crowd to avoid ""Avada Kedavra."""
"*wife comes home* ""Did you fix the toilet?"" Yep! [she opens door & is hit by avalanche of plums] ""You called the plummer again you idiot!!!"""
"What's the difference between a rooster and your mom? A rooster says, ""cockadoodledoo"". Your mom says, ""anycockwilldoo""."
"LMAOSHMSFOAIDMT = Laughing my ass off so hard my sombrero fell off and I dropped my taco."