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Joke of the Day

"9/10 people are retarded I'm glad I'm a part of the 1%."

"I used to work at a fire hydrant factory. I couldn't park anywhere near the place. -Steven Wright"

"Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret."

"The distance this fish swam... Is a SCALER not a vector."

"I sex you, but I'm not 'in sex' with you."

"What do you call a teacher that doesn't fart in public? a private tooter."

"*watching a cop walk past during drug deal* ok relax, just be cool.. ""bonjour mademoiselle how much of le methamphetamine dost thou fancy"""

"What's the difference between Australia and yogurt? At least if you leave yogurt alone for a while it develops a culture."

"Why did the surfer join ISIS? Because he was totally radical! EDIT: I guess this didn't blow up."

"if squids were land animals sometimes you'd be walking along and you'd look up and BAM squid in a tree"