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Joke of the Day

"If a deadly alligator appears in the instant after you tell your friends you'll see them later there is literally no way to warn them"

"I just had Ebola cereal."

"Teacher: You're here to learn. Me: No bitch, I'm here because my mum wouldn't let me stay home."

"When men and women argue who's the most stubborn... Then men concede they are are, because they just don't want to argue this anymore."

"I'm the designated driver so it's mini bottles in the restroom for me"

"I lost my phone when it was on vibrate I guess if I loved it so much I should have put a ring on it"

"I just bought a Christmas tree and my buddy asked, ""Are you going to put that up yourself?"" I replied, ""No, I was thinking the living room."""

"You're so fat and unfunny... that the only punchlines you have are stained on your shirt."

"What do black guys have that's double the size of white men and gets bigger every time they touch a woman? Their criminal record."

"It's really too bad that Magic Johnson played in an era in which the hilarity of his nickname was so underappreciated."