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Joke of the Day
"When my friend told me to stop acting like a flamingo... ...I had to put my foot down."
Next Joke
 
"Why is pulling out 100% effective for superman? They never survive the 1000ft fall to earth. (Thanks Drawn Together)"
"I invented a new joke today! Plagiarism!"
"Did you hear the one about the Virgin marrying the Supermodel? Yeah, me neither.."
"What good is Twitter if not to make arcane pop culture references that .0002% percent of the population will understand?"
"I'd love to change the world. But I don't think there is a diaper big enough to hold all the shit."
"sdkgnosdngosdg;klm'gtmq[rasmgladmgladmgladmngksdngksdnkgnadkfgnkasgnkpasngksangkasngkdsgksgnkdgnkdgk; I just hacked the CIA [redacted]"
"It's so quiet in our office you can actually hear the dreams fizzling out."
"Why are there no cats in Germany? Because they have nein lives."
"Nice try, horror movies, but the scariest thing I've ever seen is still a 4-year-old holding a sharpie without the cap."