229055

Joke of the Day

"How do you know that your girlfriend has been cheating on you with a black guy? When she takes the tampon out and all of the cotton's gone"

"I'm trying out a new idea for using gum that's lost its flavor. Right now, it's just an ex-spearmint. (Sorry)"

"f u cn red ths yu meb b dislxic rely"

"Valentine's day Mothers have mothers day, father's have father's day, couples have valentine's day and I have palm sunday"

"the neighborhood teens have left so many burning bags of garbage on my lawn that everyone thinks that this is the place you burn garbage now"

"You were a still born baby.. Mother didn't want you but you were still born."

"An E-Flat , a G-Flat & a B-Flat walk into a bar. The bartender says, ""Sorry, we don't serve minors""."

"What do you call a sassy criminal walking down the stairs? A condescending con descending."

"Me: Damn girl your new selfie is awesome but isn't it a bit late to zombiefy yourself? Her: What's zombiefy? Me: ...Your hair looks great!"

"A book commits suicide every time you watch a reality show."