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Joke of the Day

"What did the broken bridge say? I have truss issues."

"My fridge exploded. . . And there are pieces of de-brie everywhere."

"I work in a bar called Advice. I get really good tips."

"ok honey, you're going to love this movie. all you need to know is that ""robocop"" is short for ""robot cop"""

"So from now on I believe in talking bears until someone can logically explain how that Ted scene just happened on the #oscars"

"How many Vietnam Veterans does it take to screw in a light bulb? YOU DON'T KNOW, MAN, BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T THERE..!!!"

"Sheet manufacturers totally have us by the balls. What are we, not gonna buy sheets?"

"How 'done' do you want your burger? I can do ""well-done"" all the way to ""CPR might actually work."""

"We get it, painters: you love naked women and bowls of fruit."

"When cats are sad... Bartender: ""What can I get you?"" Cat: ""Shot of tequilla."" *Bartender pours it.* *Cat slowly pushes it off the bar.* Cat: ""I'll have another."""