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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you ask a proctologist for a second opinion? Two fingers."

"[At job interview] Interviewer: So tell me why you want this job. Me: I have no money and I prefer when I have money."

"Asking me to care Would be like asking the hunchback of Notre dame to stand up straight."

"New friend: want 2 go tanning w/me tmrw? Me: ok. sounds fun. idk where 2 get cowhides. do u?"

"Life is all about trying way too hard to look like you're not trying."

"In his next movie poster, I wonder if Ice Cube will be mildly annoyed by whatever is going on around him."

"""Say no to Lindsay Lohan."" - drugs."

"I don't understand why people are so upset about Harambe I mean, gorillas get shot by white cops all the time."

"How do you call a camel with 3 humps? With empathy, compassion, and honesty. Cancer is hard news, even for a camel."

"Marrige has 3 rings... The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering."