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Joke of the Day

"What did the cookie say to the cracker? You feeling salty bro?"

"I was talking to my ex and she got the wrong end of the stick. The end that had been sharpened to a fine point."

"I could be happily married to some dude for 50 year an id still be textin ma pals like ""omg do u think he likes me???"""

"What's the difference between mono and herpes? You get mono from snatching a kiss........"

"Hey Facebook, I really don't care that a friend of mine commented on someone else's status or photo."

"How do you make anti-freeze? Take away her blanket."

"I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache, And then suddenly she's not your friend anymore..."

"An Irish girl tells her mom she decided to be a prostitute. her mom says ""A WHAT""?!! The daughter says ""a prostitute"" then the mom says ""thank god... I thought you said a Protestant"""

"When I greeted my boss in the morning, he told me to have a good day. Who am I to argue? So I thanked him and went back home."

"Two things I will never grasp in life: 1. What to write in birthday cards. 2. What to do when people are singing happy birthday to me."