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Joke of the Day

"If you're ever cold, stand in a corner. It's always ninety degrees"

"The best thing about eating healthy food is all the incredible food you eat an hour later because you're so hungry..."

"Why do dwarf's laugh while playing football? Because the grass tickles their balls."

"NASCAR Fight after race Any one notice that NASCAR gave out suspensions and 6 figure fines (&no drivers) and then they use it to promote Sundays race in AZ Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm"

"What's the difference between babies and cats People want to see pictures of your cat."

"The only way I'll leave my phone in a cab is if I leave my arm in a cab."

"Q: What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes? A: Frosted Flakes."

"whatever you do Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you are donating blood."

"Embrace her crazy and she'll love you forever or until she kills you, whichever comes first"

"Harry Potter Pickup line. Hey babe are you parseltongued cause my snake wants to communicate!"