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Joke of the Day
"I never touch baby carrots because I'm afraid the mother will reject them."
Next Joke
"Women are supposed to be like butterflies, beautiful and hard to catch... ...But most of you are like mosquitoes, annoying and easy to smash."
"I like my pillow like..... I like my pillow, like I like my women. Lumpy, covered in drool, and can take a punch."
"Hey! I got a new job working in quality control at a knickers factory! I'll be pulling down about 800 a week."
"There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator Only a fraction of you will get this"
"My wife and I are expecting a child and I hope someone grabs her arm in public to talk about the baby. That way I can say, ""Hey! Leggo of my preggo!"""
"""Toothpaste? You made that word up!"" - Steve Bushemi"
"First Jon Stewart retires, then Brian Williams gets suspended. What's happening to fake news?"
"gotta love cousins... what do you call a hispanic man who's car got jacked? Carlos. what do you call the italian man who stole it? Carmine."
"How do you know Moby Dick was a gay whale? Because he was trying to swallow the sea men..."