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Joke of the Day

"gotta love cousins... what do you call a hispanic man who's car got jacked? Carlos. what do you call the italian man who stole it? Carmine."

"What's the difference between a wife and a girlfriend? 30 pounds. OK Ladies - if you didn't like that - what's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? 45 minutes."

"Stranger danger is a very real thing. They nearly always react badly to proposals."

"That spray tan made me smell like burnt hair & cat pee with a coconut twist. If I could bottle this stench, I'd call it Jersey Whore Breeze."

"I recently started a company that combines Perchloric Acid with random elements... So far you could say Bismuth is booming."

"What do you call a gay midget? Sweet and Low"

"Keep your friend's toast, but keep your enemy's toaster."

"""SOMEONE IS VAPING"" 911: Stay calm, were tracing it ""HURRY"" 911: THE VAPING IS COMIN FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE ""OMG"" 911: GET OUT GET OUT"

"A man walks into a bar. He bashed his head. What did you think would have happened?"

"I like my rape jokes how I like my rape victims... Not taken seriously."