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Joke of the Day

"So he says, ""Argh! Give me yer booties!"" & he steals all the baby booties. ... There's an audience for Baby Blackbeard & I'LL FIND IT."

"9/10 people believe that... Out of every 10 people, 1 person will always disagree with the other 9. -Colin Mochrie"

"Just watched the uncut version of Scarface. Face"

"I'm pretty good at getting divorced men I date to give their ex another chance."

"What do you call an Arab riding a camel with a goat on a leash? Bisexual."

"What's the difference between an oyster fisherman with epilepsy and a prostitute with diarrhea? The fisherman shucks between fits."

"Utilizing your Miranda rights... POLICE: Anything you say will be held against you... BOY: Titties."

"Q: How many screenwriters to make ""Titanic"" a good movie? A: One more than they had."

"Apparently the same firm rents buildings to both ISIS and Neo-Nazis. You could say they're the lessor of two evils."

"I may be middle-class, but I'm hard. *Al dente*, you might say. **Jimmy Carr**"