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Joke of the Day

"I'd like to say something nice about you as it's your birthday. Why don't you? Because I can't think of a single thing to say!"

"my sister... My sister asked if I wanted to have sex, I said ""well if you incest."""

"These Egyptian fireworks are nice. Oh wait, they are planes."

"Why wasn't Sean Connery standing? He had to shit."

"I think my favorite MLK Day tradition is giving pans of ex-lax laced brownies to all the local racist organizations."

"Dun-na-na-na-na-na-na-na Running down the motor-way, A lorr-ie comes the other-way, Dun-na-na-na-na-na-na-na, Splat-Man!"

"""Aww. You guys... And it's not even my real birthday! #flattered ."" -Jesus"

"I don't take my wallet to work because I'm afraid someone will steal it while I'm sleeping."

"Why pink camo? Do people hunt barbie jeeps or try to sneak up on pepto bismol?"

"Nachos on Christmas Eve. We're celebrating the birth of cheeses!"