228516

Joke of the Day

"My father died recently and I came into a bunch of money. I decided to buy a car and pay cash... and the man at the dealership asked me, ""Why are all these bills so sticky?!"""

"Did you hear about the outbreak of Urinary Tract Infections at the University of Texas? It's odd they couldn't see the issue with all those UTI's"

"""Huh?"" - Wonder Woman"

"A cop stops an electron for speeding. He says ""Did you know you were going 100 mph?"" ""Great"", says the electron, ""now I'm lost!"""

"We're expecting 12 inches tomorrow night. Well played, Black History Month. Well played."

"What do you call a hippo that swears? A hippopottymouth"

"How come Greek salad doesn't have any lettuce? Austerity."

"""Mommy, what's a butterfly?"" ""When a girl loves many boys in a short time during college, she gets a tattoo reminder for her future husband"""

"Women are like snowflakes: they can't drive"

"I want to make a school shooting joke, but that might seem offensive. I think I should aim for a younger crowd."