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Joke of the Day

"I have a dollar bill pressed between my chin and my chest.....who am i? Christopher Reeve at a strip club."

"I have a dark sense of humor but being a normally good person, *people don't see it.*"

"Henry Tudor: ""I'm going to build a car park in the centre of Leicester."" Richard III: ""Over my dead body."""

"*takes your order* *goes to kitchen* *comes back* ""did you say grilled cheese or gorilla cheese?"" grilled *sighs* *goes to kitchen*"

"I tried wrapping Christmas presents.. But I just didn't have the gift"

"Stats show the average person has sex 89 times per year Looks like I'm in store for a wild December"

"What did the recent Sunni convert says about ISIS? They really scared the Shiite outa me!"

"Mad respect to people who can stop eating when they're full."

"Sweat pants & Uggs in public says ""and I didn't brush my teeth, either."""

"Back in my day, I used to have to walk 4 miles to the nearest store. Because I had too many DUIs."