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Joke of the Day

"If I offer you some of my gummy worms, I am just trying to be polite. Don't you fucking dare take any."

"I heard that the Dutch have a lot of educational support for homosexual teens. They know had bad things can go when a dyke fails."

"*leads a conga line off of a bridge"

"What is the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? Attire."

"thousamds of yrs ago i used up mankind's only wish & got peas placed on this earth. all the wars coud hav been prevented if i hadnt mumbled"

"How much wood... ...could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck was Chuck Norris? *All of it.*"

"Have you ever tried using a broken pencil? No? Well don't try. It's pointless."

"What do you call a group of Spaniards in quicksand? Bean dip"

"What's the difference between a baby and a freezer? a freezer doesn't scream when you put your meat in it"

"My Easter wish is for Paul Simon to finally turn cannibal, if only because I'm beyond ready for him to record ""Fifty Ways to Eat Your Lover"""