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Joke of the Day

"Why did the man put condoms on his ears during sex? He didn't want to get hearing aids."

"What is the worst thing about dating a Japanese girl? You have to drop da bomb on her twice"

"Ever wonder why you don't see the energizer bunny anymore? He got arrested for battery."

"Only 2 phrases can change a woman's mood: ""I Love You"" and ""50% Off""."

"What's another word for cinnamon? Synonym."

"Damn boy, are you wearing an anti-gravity suit? 'Cause I'm not the least bit attracted to you."

"What is both a fruit and a vegetable? Elton John in a coma."

"[son falls over & hurts himself] ME: aww poor kid, he needs a little THC WIFE: don't you mean TLC? ME: [huge bong rip] he needs what now?"

"Husband: Why are there broken condoms on our couch? Wife: Would you please call our children by their real names."

"I hope one day to be dating a moderator from /r/jokes... Everything is long from their point of view!!"