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Joke of the Day

"The year is 2027. Voice to text is flawless. A young child points at a bird and says, ""Duck"". His mother slaps him."

"A grasshopper walks into a bar The bartender says to the grasshopper ""You know, we have a drink named after you."" To which the grasshopper responds ""You have a drink named Pete?"""

"What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench can support a family of 4."

"New virus Did you hear about the problems with the new Facebook game ""Kitchen Ville""? A virus has been hitting it hard, but it only deletes the cook ware. It is an E-Pan-Demic."

"just spilled alphabet soup on my keyboard. I'm so confused"

"What's the best part about fingering a gypsy on her period? You get your palm red for free"

"I was told by the vet that i had to put my cat down... So i went home to it and said ""You're fat and lazy."""

"MRW when I heard about the Super Fine Bros. thing that's going on. [deleted for trademark infringement]"

"I once went to a diner and ordered a chicken salad sandwich and an egg salad sandwich to see which would come first."

"Why did the elevator take antidepressants? It was feeling down"