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Joke of the Day

"My new year's resolution... 2K, and 16 extra pixels."

"Turkey bacon is a lot like normal bacon except that IT'S NOT AND IT NEEDS TO GO BACK TO HELL, WHERE IT CAME FROM."

"[in ambulance] ""Can you describe the snake that bit you?"" Yes it was like an angry rope"

"Ever hear the story of the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac? He would lay awake at night worried about the existence of dog."

"Whenever someone says they did something ""like a boss"" I assume that means they didn't do it at all and are taking credit for it."

"For Sale: Dwarf Jacuzzi Can also be used as a foot spa."

"I prefer to buy rental properties that take up an entire city block or more. I'm in it for the long hall."

"Why are white people racist against black people? Cause they have smaller PPs lol"

"I haven't made egg jokes in a while I thought I'd take a crack at them"

"Two snare drums and a hi-hat fall off a cliff. Bu dum tiss"