206907

Joke of the Day

"When men say ""I'm fine"" they actually mean it. Weirdos."

"So I beat a Russian Grand Master once. With his own cane."

"how many millennials does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Enough to protest until the government does it for them"

"your Lonely Score is the maximum number of forks a takeout place has given you for your single person food order. my score is 4"

"Yo're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering."

"If I die, tell them to reconstruct me from sock DNA."

"Did you hear about the jeans manufacturing company that changed their product to pants made from one piece of fabric? They made a seamless transition."

"Sooner or later Rockstar is going to make a GTA that features every possible human action you can do and then the world will implode."

"I'm excited for the zombie apocalypse so I can trap famous dead celebrities and make the best Broadway show ever assembled."

"Yeah, but is it Tyrannosauri Rex or Tyrannosaurus Rexes? *The Jehovahs Witness slams my own door in my face"