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Joke of the Day

"As an old muslim adage says ""When you get home, beat your wives and your children. If you do not know why, they know."""

"[OC] Did you hear the one about the douchebag bodybuilder with the anal fissure? He's one ripped asshole."

"Why are recycle bins optimistic? Because they're full of cans. *ba dum tss*"

"Who delivers Easter treats to all the fish in the sea? The Oyster Bunny!"

"I've seen a lot of great photos of babies in my life, so if you want my like on Facebook you better bring it."

"[commercial for rakes] ""Are u tired of eating leaves?"""

"The founder of the Hokie Pokie died the other day His funeral was a fiasco. First they tried to put his right foot in..."

"The child in me says ""Eat candy for breakfast!"" but the adult in me says ""You're an adult! You can do whatever the fuck you want! Do it!"""

"I'm pretty sure Morgan Freeman was narrating while the universe was being created"

"Just watched the documentary FOOD, INC. And I'm absolutely disgusted. From now on, I'm only having sex with organic chickens."