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Joke of the Day

"A hamburger walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says,""Sorry, we don't serve food here."""

"Never eat spoiled meat Or spoiled eggs"

"How do you know when you're at a gay picnic? The hotdogs taste like shit."

"What do you award to someone who comments in a thread from a month ago? Reddit Old"

"I had a scary moment when..... I had a scary moment when I was opening my new expensive furniture with a stanley knife. I damn near slit my shelf"

"Pinot? I hardly noir."

"A lot of people think your quarter life crisis starts at 25 but actually your whole life can be a crisis."

"*tries to quietly check the football score during a home invasion"

"When you msg me @ 9:30am w/ just ""Morning,"" don't be shocked when I wait till 12:00pm & respond w/ ""Noon."" Seriously, what did ya expect?"

"How do you get Jizz off of a Scrabble board? Don't bother. That shit's worth 29 points."