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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a garbanzo and a chickpea? Trump has never had a garbanzo on his face."

"There are two types of people in the world... Those who pee in the shower and dirty feckin liars!"

"Cup of Tea According to Tetley, the best way to make a cup of tea is to agitate the bag. So every morning I slap her arse and say ""two sugars fatty""."

"""john could tell that emily was getting tired of him narrating their date"""

"Wheres my dog gone? Dead in the trash"

"So I went to the mattress store and tried laying on one of the Temper-Pedic mattresses. I was impressed."

"Professor: What is an independent variable? Student: A variable who don't need no man"

"How many telemarkers does it take to change a light bulb? 3. One to change the bulb and two to talk about how beautiful the turns were."

"Know what they call the useless skin around a vagina? A woman."

"What do you do when you come across a tiger in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologize."