227981

Joke of the Day

"Daughter: why does that guy with the whistle keep interrupting the football game? Me: because mommy isn't there to do it."

"I once sat down with Oprah to discuss my drug use but I was high & that might not have been Oprah because why did she need to borrow money?"

"I'm trying to envision something more fitting than this election actually ending in a Biden-Trump fist fight and i cannot"

"What do you call a German who doesn't eat meat? A Veget-Aryan"

"I once put a baby in adult clothing and placed him on my desk with a water bottle labeled ""fountain of youth"" right next to him."

"Darth Vader is not that bad... he is the first black guy to admit he is the father."

"What will Donald Trump definitely do when he wins the election? Donald Trump will ban muslim, be a douchebag,make the whitehouse 500x larger and of course, BOMB NORTH KOREA!"

"Why did the photographer get arrested? He was charged with shooting kids and framing the parents."

"A wise man once said that ice on the ground is great. He fell"

"wish I never spent that $20 my grandma gave me when I was 12, I could really use it right now"