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Joke of the Day

"*chad kroeger walks through metal detector at airport* TSA agent: I've never seen this low of a reading"

"[magic school bus] KID: where are we going today MS. FRIZZLE: the zoo KID: but last week we went to SPACE MS. FRIZZLE: im hungover, children"

"My biggest fear of Hurricane Sandy is that i'll lose power and can't Facebook"

"I hate when kangaroos say they're going to ""hop in the shower"" and expect you to laugh like you've never heard it before."

"The story of the co-pilot shows what happens if you don't deal with depresion You will just bring down others"

"My husband has been missing for a week, the police say to prepare for the worst... So I went to the thrift store & got all his clothes back!"

"Driving with me is like being trapped in a tiny karaoke bar that doesn't serve booze and the worst singer won't get off the stage."

"Trump wants to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese. He wants to make America grate again."

"Hindsight is $20.20. Don't even ask me what she charged to see her boobs."

"There's a new wheelchair party forming But it doesn't really stand for anything. (At least it'll always have a spokes person)"