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Joke of the Day

"Post this on your Facebook then count your programmer friends. My phone is broken, please send me message on my Facebook or my Gmail."

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and ten million dollars."

"Fighting a war on drugs beats fighting a war sober"

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Battering Ram Barbie ...Barbie's head on the end of a battering ram"

"Biden: can i put whoopee cushions under all the chairs before he gets here Obama: joe im on the phone Biden:*muttering* u didnt say not to"

"A man fixes things If a man says he will fix something, he will! There's no need to remind him every six months..."

"[describing a chair] it's like a swing without all the drama"

"Damn you titties, stop being so glorious. Your owner is trying to tell me something and I need to make eye contact."

"""Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"" Probably photos, reflective surfaces, things of that nature."

"Why does the monster act wild and crazy on his birthday? He's trying to age disgracefully!"