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Joke of the Day
"Why don't we ever go 'forth and back'? To go forth and multiply is more fun."
Next Joke
"Looking back on Britain's 2016. The year most middle aged men went from wanting to fuck Nigella to wanting to fuck Nigel up."
"What's better than seeing a girl wrestle?... Seeing her box."
"instead of taking anti-depressants I just think about how many different kinds of sandwiches there are"
"If you have that loud keyboard clicking sound enabled on your iPhone, give me your phone. You don't get a phone."
"A fight or flight situation. Like when you go to pick up your kid and the teacher's walking towards you with ""the look"" on her face."
"A squirrel and an elephant are in the bathroom. The elephant in the tub says to the squirrel, we have no soap. The squirrel says... ""OH YEAH? NO SOAP RADIO!"""
"What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick in a McChicken."
"If Apple designed a house, what would they not install? Windows..."
"How can you tell when a mechanic just had sex? One of his fingers is clean"