227449

Joke of the Day

"Red Bull gives you wings... So what do you get when you drink Green Bull? Twigs!"

"My girlfriend called me a pedophile I replied ""Shut your mouth you fat cunt"""

"I'm for traditional marriage, mostly because I want to know how many goats I'm worth."

"I wasn't planning on giving Christmas gifts this year until I heard about those exploding Samsung Galaxy phones."

"I like to play music loud It's kind of my forte."

"*gets so drunk I grab a fish out of your fish tank and shakes it at you screaming ""WHAT KIND OF DOG IS THIS?!"" *"

"windows 8: i got some updates me: cool windows: i have to restart me: okay not now windows: im going to me: please dont windows: lol"

"Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of a boat? Because if they fell forwards they'd still be in the boat."

"Did you hear about the dyslexic druggie lawyer who just finished rehab? He's already started suing again."

"So a crossfitter, an atheist, and a vegan all walk into a bar How do I know? Because they told everyone in the place within 30 seconds"