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Joke of the Day
"If I was moments away from my death I would ask someone for a 5-hour Energy drink."
Next Joke
"My Wife's Accident The police knocked on my door last night, ""It looks like your wife has been in an accident,"" said one officer. ""I know,"" I replied, ""but she's good with the kids."""
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Anita ! Anita who ? Anita you like I need a hole in the head !"
"Man sticks finger into electrical socket... What happens next will shock you."
"I found a website with guaranteed real virgins [NSFW] [www.9gag.com](http://9gag.com)"
"Guess which city got the best black Friday deals? Ferguson, it was a steal."
"Whoever named the diaper did a lot better than whoever named sweatshirts."
"Daddy what is a transvestite? Ask your mother, he knows it."
"How does Winnie the Pooh open his honey pot? With his bear hands. Thank the Chive for that one."
"I'm despondent. I'm chained to the phone charger. It's so fucking landline."