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Joke of the Day

"Whoever named the diaper did a lot better than whoever named sweatshirts."

"There are 3 types of people in this world... Those who can count, and those who can't."

"I was having trouble reverse parking... ...until I tried my back-up plan."

"What did the clock say when he was finished having sex? The time has come."

"Just landed at LaGuardia lol JFK"

"Did you hear about the man who choked on his lasagna dinner? He pasta way."

"[office] DAVE: We're having a baby SUE: Congratulations! ME: [suspicious that Dave is a seahorse] Looking forward to the birth, Dave?"

"Why can't you trust an atom? Because they make up everything..."

"I have this reoccurring nightmare called a job."

"It's weird that you need money to stay alive."