46979

Joke of the Day

"A Teacher asked for the chemical formula for water Teacher: Alright so what is the chemical formula for water? Me: HIJKLMNO Teacher: What are you even saying?! Me: You told us it was H to O!"

"(Date) ""What's wrong?"" Oh nothing I'm just a nervous hummer ""Aw how cute!!"" *perfectly hums the entire Jurassic Park theme at full volume*"

"What starts with an 'M', ends with 'arriage', and recently made me the happiest man alive? Miscarriage"

"I'm okay with selling fake ID's to minors because they're all organ donor cards."

"Clown: Why are you wearing such a large shirt? Second Clown: I always perform in the big top."

"somebody took my dog while we were waiting in line at the vet i cried out ""Somebody stole my Spot!!"""

"Movies led me to believe there would be a whole lot more unlocked cars just sitting around with the keys tucked away in the overhead visor."

"What did the hooker say to the blind man? ""Come here"""

"My penis is so long When i put it on my keyboard, it covers all the way from A to Z"

"If Trump wins, I'm leaving the country, if Clinton wins I'm leaving the country Not a political post, I just love to travel"