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Joke of the Day
"I asked my wife what my rapper name should be. She suggested, ""2-PAAQ"" 2 pumps and a quiver. :'("
Next Joke
"Words can not even begin to describe your beauty and how much I need to borrow your car."
"Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow? Pupil: Yes the cow ate all the grass!"
"Dating your Ex again is like buying your clothes back from Goodwill. There's a reason you got rid of it in the first place."
"My aunt found a lump below her left breast recently. It was my penis."
"[funeral] ok I need everyone over 70 to gather for the bouquet toss"
"That shitty moment when you finally get comfy in bed then realize the lights are on."
"A game I bought my Pokemon-Go playing friend caused her to have a brief panic attack. In hindsight, the latest Counter-Strike probably wasn't a good idea..."
"*jumping on a trampoline* What do you mean you want full custody?"
"What's the most efficient fuel to use when chasing cars? Snow Petrol!"