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Joke of the Day
"I bought shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with but fuck you."
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"""Sensitive"" guys who only retweet chicks, you're not fooling anyone."
"I tried typing ""penis"" as my new password and I got an error message saying it was too short."
"What do you call a midget psychic running from the law? A small medium at large."
"Teacher: What are the four elements? Pupil: Fire Earth Water and the Internet. Teacher: What do you mean the Internet? Pupil: Well Mum says that whenever I'm on the Net I'm in my element."
"If there's a sock on my doorknob... It means I'm having sex with the other one."
"ok, now say it again so my wife hears ""you're too big for this ride, sir"""
"[First day of class at law school] *raises hand* Hi, yes. When do we get our white, curly wigs?"
"Someone told me today that I'm pretentious... Moi!?!?"
"Confucius say, ""woman with dress up run faster than man with pants down."" It's true. Do the math."