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Joke of the Day

"British Intelligence is warning that terrorist groups could fit women terrorists with exploding breast implants. They knew it was only a matter of time before Al Queda started setting booby traps..."

"Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get away from the bagpipe recital."

"Who is the commander of cheese? Sargento"

"ME: You're a silly sausage aren't you? SAUSAGE: [peering over spectacles] I may have acted out in my youth but that's not what defines me."

"What is Asia's favourite sitcom? Everybody loves Ramen."

"Is there as much intelligence disparity in other animals as humans? Does any cow make other cows go, ""That's the dumbest cow I've ever met""?"

"I just found out that a gay friend of mine is OCD He was the last person I expected to get upset about something not being straight."

"A bunch of bats are hanging on a tree branch... BAT A: Hey look at Harry he's hanging the other way up!! (like a bird) BAT B: He's been having these fainting spells all week."

"TIL that .15% of subway sandwiches are made incorrectly on the first try Whoops sorry sir, wrong sub!"

"Interviewer: What would you say is your greatest strength? Me: Definitely my insecurities. Very strong."