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Joke of the Day

"What do people from West Virginia do on Halloween? Pump Kin"

"My boss: Why are you sleeping at your desk?! Me: Because my bed is at home."

"I'm a long-term thinker. For instance, the green bananas I bought will be delicious in 2 days."

"I put my phone on airplane mode. Now I can't find it."

"Ted said to his friend 'can you lend me $10?' 'But I only have $8' his friend replied. That's OK you can always owe me the other $2!"

"I used to steal identities... You people are so boring I ended up returning them."

"Gay people try to say they're not as permiscuous as they're made out to be, but I've had three separate gay men offer me blowjobs And I've never had that happen with a straight guy"

"8 year old at the park said I threw like a girl. He found out I kick in the nuts like a girl too."

"Insult Joke P1: Why did the chicken cross the road? P2: Why? P1: To get to the little bitch's house. P1: Knock knock P1: Who's there? P2: The chicken"

"I can count the number of times I've been to Chernobyl on one hand. It's seven."