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Joke of the Day

"What do you use to check your cell from across the room? A telephono lens."

"STDs are like pokemons... To be cool, you gotta catch 'em all."

"Did you know you're 10 times more likely to be robbed in your home town than in New York city? That's because you don't live in New York City"

"I'm extremely terrified that Donald Trump might run this country..... I completely mean that."

"How do you say Tony Romo in Spanish? Mark Sanchez."

"Hey baby, are you an oven? Because you've had a lot of Jews inside of you."

"What do Germans and acetone have in common? They are both good at removing the Polish!"

"restaurant Waiter: Your coffee Me: Could I have a little spoon please? Waiter: Certainly *delicately embraces me from behind* Me: lovely"

"oh cool burger king sells hot dogs now. maybe next week i'll get lasik at staples"

"Someone should make a website that allows you to anonymously chat with random Jews from around the world. They could call it 'Oi-megle'."