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Joke of the Day

"They say that the best airing time is 20:00... ...but I think 19:59 is the real prime time."

"Q: How many lawyers does it take to plaster a wall? A: It depends how hard you throw them."

"I ate some Tesco burgers last night. I think it's given me the trots."

"Dating Women is like squaring Numbers If they're under 16, do it in your head"

"""I like my women like I like my Stephen Hawkings... ...paralyzed and unable to talk."" - Bill Cosby I'll see myself out."

"Saw a girl with three lip-ring piercings on the subway this morning. Took everything in my power not to attach a shower curtain."

"I got to test the new self driving prototype, the Ford Dixie But it crashed and I can't get the police to help. They hang up every time after I tell them ""My Dixie wrecked"""

"When I was kid, and we'd go sledding on a cold snowy day, Ya know how often I had to rub my hands together to stay warm? Intermittenly."

"Why do police ask to see your drinking license when they pull you over, but they call it a driver license like your bartender does before you can drink?"

"When the moon hits your eye... When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie that's amore. When you swim in a creek and an eel bites your cheek that's a moray."