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Joke of the Day

"How do you weigh a Hipster? In instagrams"

"my Liam Nissan is missing from the parking lot it's been taken 2014"

"I don't know if laughter is the ""best"" medicine, but I do like that it doesn't have a $35 co-pay."

"How can you tell that Caitlyn Jenner was once a man? Because she's better at being a woman than most women are."

"What do Hitler, Stalin, Mussolini and Ayn Rand have in common? They are all dead."

"I was surprised that my skin products kept moving around my medicine cabinet But it turns out it was just brownian lotion."

"If there is a zombie apocalypse I hope that they are thriller zombies because they're fabulous dancers"

"When I see a girl with a lot of makeup, I want to use my finger and write WASH ME on her face..."

"What do Dicks and School have in common There both long and hard unless you are Asian"

"Grandpa...why is there a suppository in your ear? Oh... THAT's where my hearing aid went!"