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Joke of the Day

"We burried my grandmother last week... So she's probably dead by now."

"Want to make a nerd's head explode? Go to any site that posted the new Star Wars trailer & write ""Where's Captain Kirk?"" in the comments."

"What do you call a Sailor's hitch in the arctic? Knot cool"

"What is the best part of an ISIS joke? The execution."

"What do you say when somebody else has ruined your joke? RIP post"

"I used to work in children's wear, but I grew out of it."

"WAITER: Your honor, when I said ""enjoy your meal"" he said ""you too"" ME: it was a mistake JUDGE: he gets half your meal W: thanks J: you too"

"When I get a call from an unknown number I answer by whispering: ""It's done, but there's blood everywhere!"""

"My new wifi password: Whatsawifi Enter DWMC-esque dude/sweet scene."

"What's the difference between a High School girls track team and a tribe of pigmy? Pigmies are a cunning bunch of runts."