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Joke of the Day

"Little Timmy's house cough on fire Timmy wanted to be the hero and grabbed his squirt gun. Do you know what happened to Timmy? He drowned! Moral of the story: Don't be a hero."

"Just so we're on the same page, I'm on 137."

"A man walks into a mental hospital wearing nothing but plastic wrap. The clerk says to him, ""You definitely belong here, I can clearly see your nuts!"""

"I want a lady in the streets and a billion dollars"

"Renewing your wedding vows is like agreeing on a double life sentence to prison."

"A toilet was stolen from a police station today... It's a pretty serious crime. The police have nothing to go on."

"A son asks his dad, ""What's the difference between a boy and a girl?"" His dad answers, ""Well, there's a vas deferens!"""

"I finally figured out the secret to click bait. It is to repost the title every week."

"What is dead on its back, 100 feet in the air? A dead centipede."

"I want to die like my grandfather . ..peaceful . . . ready to go. Not kicking and screaming like the passengers in his car"