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Joke of the Day

"When Adam and Eve ate the apple I remember thinking, ""Well, that's a sin, but at least it's original."""

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"Why do the versions of Windows jump from 8 to 10? Because no one wanted Windows Nein!"
"Banks suck ass. First they get bailed out with $700B of our money, then they're like ""You can't use Wingdings for the font on your checks."""
"My boss wanted to know why I was away for so long. I told him I was in the restroom and he doesn't believe me. He insists I'm lying but I'm really just full of shit."
"I'm starting to think the Hangover Fairy and the Angel of Death are the same person."
"Cashier: Going snorkeling huh? Me: Yeah. Should be fun. Cashier: Watch out for sea snakes. Me: Hi, I'd like to return these."
"Today I was asked to model for a stone sculpture Life is wild guys don't take anything for granite"
"Ever heard of the blind hooker? You really gotta hand it to 'er."
"My life story is just like ""Eat Pray Love"" but without the last two."
"Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent. Hello Jack."