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Joke of the Day

"""You are cute like a dog, Momma!"" My daughter is very sweet but we must work on her ability to compliment."

"Why did the chicken cross the basketball court? He heard the ref was blowing fowls in the corner!"

"What did the nucleus say to get the electron up? Up and atom!"

"What's the biggest lie of the election? Voting machines aren't hackable."

"What did the ruthless businessman say to his employees? If at first you don't succeed - you're fired!"

"What's the Primary Directive in a nunnery (convent) ? Lights out at nine, candles out at ten ..."

"- ""I love Beyonce... - Whatever floats your boat dude. - No, you're thinking of 'buoyancy'. - ..."""

"What's worse than stepping on a Lego in the middle of the night? A landmine."

"95% of the men's fashion budget on 'American Idol' goes to leather cuff bracelets and wallet chains."

"A wise Chinese man once said... ""If a dog barks... its probably undercooked""."