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Joke of the Day

"A baby frog just purposely threw himself in front of my lawn mower..... I guess he wanted to Kermit suicide."

"I bought a Delorean R/C car today. I accidentally ran it at full speed. I guess I'll have to wait about 10 years to get it back."

"Why was the beaver homeless? He just couldn't give a dam."

"If my pizza delivery guy isn't blasting Lionel Richie's ""Hello"" from his car when he rings my doorbell, I make him go back and start over."

"We've had the selfie and now the selfie stick. So when will our phones be renamed Selfones."

"I know a joke... that's so dark the police almost shot it."

"With Jupiter ascending flopping the wachowskis are planning to quit the movie biz and going into the fast growing Mexican food business They are planning on naming their company as the Nachoskis"

"You know why it is that when a flock of birds fly in a 'V' formation one side is always longer the other? There's more birds on that side."

"It was really hard for me to get over my addiction to the hokey cokey. But i've turned myself around, and that's what it's all about."

"Her: 'Do I look, like, fat?' Brain: no,no,no,no Brain: Of course not. Brain: Say SOMETHING Mouth: 'Like a fat what?' Brain: Oh dear God"