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Joke of the Day

"A baby frog just purposely threw himself in front of my lawn mower..... I guess he wanted to Kermit suicide."

"I'm the perfect man if you don't factor in looks, depth of character, emotional availability, intelligence or financial well being."

"Like my Father always said, ""I put my ass kicking boots on every morning"" ""Then after a long day of getting my ass kicked, I come home from work and take them off."""

"what's your favorite part of Sundays, mine is staying up really late for no reason whatsoever so that I'm extra miserable all week"

"Bukkake is like buses You wait ages for one to come, and then they all come at once."

"Why didnt the witch have any children? Because her husband had a hollow weenie"

"After watching ""Breaking Bad"" and the VMAs in the same night, I think I'd rather my kid be a meth dealer than a musician."

"Say you're being attacked by a circus mob. What's the best strategy? Go for the juggler."

"Whats the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? a pickpocket snatches watches"

"I finished my culinary class final. It was a piece of cake."