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Joke of the Day

"I choose toothpaste NOT recommended by dentists... those sneaky tooth-fiddlers have a lot to gain from promoting one that doesn't work."

"""I'd hit that."" Clearly what my head thinks about cupboard doors and other hard surfaces when I least expect it."

"I invited a girl to a disappointing sex club last night. She didn't come."

"What did the baker say after he found the dough he had lost? That's just what I kneaded!"

"Once this whole ""global warming thing"" melts the ice caps We're gonna have a canoe world order."

"What do you call a psychic midget on the run from the law? A small medium at large!!"

"While you are trying to remember your ex then look at your watch and it's showing 4:04 ..."

"What's the deal with Arab Airlines food... Emirate?"

"What's a reindeer's favourite celebrity? Beyonsleigh"

"What is the stretchiest substance known to man? Human flesh, because in the bible it says that Jesus tied his ass to a tree and walked 100 yards."