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Joke of the Day

"Queen: ""come to bed"" King: ""not until i have a name for my soldiers"" Queen: ""k night"" King: ""babe ur a fukin genius"""

"Why is your nose in the middle of your face? Because it is the scenter (centre)."

"I'd brag about my pride... But I'd be lion."

"How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? That's not funny."

"I went to a disco last night... (mildly NSFW) They played The Twist, so I did the twist. They played Jump, so I jumped. They played Come on Eileen I got kicked out."

"If Trump replaces Obama... Orange really will be the new black."

"I once knew a brother so smooth he wore a bluetooth in each ear and held the exact same conversation with 2 separate women at the same time"

"By 98 to 1, U.S. Senate passes amendment saying climate change is real, not a hoax."

"What did Harry Potter name his daughter? Harry Daughter."

"How much coke did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men."