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Joke of the Day
"You Gotta Hand It to Leprechauns Because they Can't Reach It!"
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"Vitamin C is Spanish for Vitamin Yes"
"Ladies: If a man approaches you and he's wearing Crocs, hold perfectly still. Their vision is based off movement."
"What's one thing a woman can never say no to? Rape."
"I just watched a movie where a serial killer murders people then cooks their dead bodies... It was a heartwarming story from start to finish"
"If you think my status updates are ridiculous, you should see my life choices."
"I'll act my age when I'm 69 lol"
"What do you call a gay philosopher? Pyfagoras"
"Cop: Freeze! Suspect: Try and catch me! *dives into Olive Garden's bottomless pasta bowl* Rookie: We gotta go after him! Cop: No. He's gone."
"I love when bill collectors ask if you can borrow the money...uh I did that before and I think we both know how that turned out."