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Joke of the Day

"Shout out to the creepy guy sitting in your bedroom chair who turns into clothes as soon as you turn on the lights."

"My grandfather died during the Holocaust. Fell right out of the guard tower."

"My Asian friend said he had erection anxiety... I said: ""what do you mean?"" He said: ""I don't want to see the dick rise to power."""

"*wakes up from 20 year coma* SHIT, MY TAMOGOTCHI"

"""Please ma'am! How do you spell ichael?"" The teacher was rather bewildered. ""Don't you mean Michael?"" she asked. ""No ma'am. I've written the 'M' already."""

"Whenever I'm on a flight and a bald person sits next to me, it takes a ton of willpower not to draw on their head when they are sleep."

"Did you hear about the biggest breakfast ever served? Back in the 1940's, some guy made over 6 million jews toast."

"apparently math tests aren't like pregnancy tests and peeing on them IS FROWNED UPON IN THIS ESTABLISHMENT."

"A man at a pub told me that he has no anus I told him he's full of shit"

"What's the difference between a magic show and a strip show? A magic show is full of **cunning stunts**"